English Funny Jokes

Two bful gals and 1 very hensome boy traveled in a public bus. Gals tried to get his attenson bt he ignored 'em. At once boy's phone rang. He ignored it and did't attend. One gal cudn't resist and interupted. "Your phone is ringing" she said. "Umm.. yes it is. It must be her.. my wife.. who else", the boy said softly.

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**Degree of Girls**

BA- Beautiful Angel
BSc- Beautiful Structure
BL- Beautiful Lips
BCom- Beautiful Completely
MBA- Married But Available

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There r many brave people who alwayas want 2 be adventurous.
Few choose the armed forces & fight for the nation,others get married & fight for their survival..

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My wife treats me like GOD.! She makes NO notice of my existence until she wants some thing.

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Best relationship needs no promises no demands n no expectation,it just need 2 people 1fool like u n 1cool like me. :)

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The height of bad luck... A girl and boy met last time for breakup Unfortunatly girl's father caught them.. Now they are married couple!

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Once a boy said to girl: Come in my heart and stay here forever.
Girl: Should i remove my sleepers??
Boy: No honey, its not a temple, come without removing.

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Is it true that the word STUDYING
was derived from STUdents DYING?

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First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

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First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

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A husband gave the key of his new car to wife
with a warning

"Darling,
If u met with accident, newspapers will print your age!" :-P ;-)

Hindi Funny Shayari

Jitne channel Tv ke,
Utne nakhre Biwi ke,
Tv chalta hai remote se,
Biwi chalta hai Note se.

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Yaad hum bhi aapko karte hain
Yaad aap bhi humko karte hain
Farq sirf itna hai ki..
Hum yaad aane par sms karte hain
Aap SMS aane par yaad karte hain.

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Aansu tere nikle aur ankhe meri ho,
Dil tera dhadke aur dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kare dosti apni itni gehri ho jaye,
Log tujhe peetein jab galti meri ho!
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Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!


Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de


Zindagi behaal hai,
Sur hai na taal hai,
Msg box bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai,
Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai…

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Chappal chhoti ho to PaaOn main nahi aati
Biwi Moti ho to Bahon Main Nahi Aati

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Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c

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Na tu Sayar hai na tu sayar ka bhatija hai...
Na tu Sayar hai na tu sayar ka bhatija hai...
Tu tere maa baap ke manoranjan ka natija hai.

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Hum LADKE hr kaam m kmal kr de
Jo wada kre wo pura hr hal m kr de
Kya jrurt hai Ldkiyo ko LIPSTICK lgane ki
Hmse khe hm chum-2 k hi lal kr de.

Naughty Kids Jokes

Ek kid ka ek paper me zero (O) aya.

(Angry) Father: What is this?

Kid: Papa, teacher ke pass STAR khatam ho gaye to MOON de diya.



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A kid was beaten up by his mom..Dad came n askd "what happnd son?"
Kid said "I can't adjust with ur wife anymore, I want my own!"


Kid: Papa, papa.. maine pados wale uncle to kal unki naukrani ke saath unke bedroom mein dekha..
Papa: Achha? Kab? Tum waha kya kar rahe the.. Doosro ke gharo mein tak-jhak nahi karte..
Kid: April fool, April fool.. Uncle ke saath naukrani nahi, mummy thee!


Ek kutta Bunty ka haath chaatne laga. Bunty dar gaya aur rone laga. Bunty ki mummy dodi-2 aayi aur kutte ko bhaga kar bunty ke boli, "Kutte ne kata to nahi?". Bunty bola, "Nahi mummy, abhi to chakkh raha tha".


Sunny ke match khel kar ghar aate hi dad ne poocha. Kaho kaisa raha match?
Sunny: Aap vishwas nahi karoge. Winning run ke liye main jimmedaar raha.
Dad (exited): Kaise! Kaise!
Sunny: maine catch tapka di!


Do ladke talab pe macchli pakad rahe the. Tabhi Chowkidar aaya. Ek ladka bhaga. Kaafi der bhagne ke baad chowkidar ne ladke ko pakad liya.
Chowkidar: "Bina licence fishing ke liye jurmana bharna padega".
Ladka: "Ye raha licence" (licence dikhate hue).
Chowkidar (valid licence dekhte hue): "Shaitan kahi ka, fir bhagaya kyo??".
Ladka (talab ki taraf ishara karte hue): "Par uske pass nahi tha na".


A son reaches home from school and starts crying.
Mom: what happened son?
Son: "I fell in the playground in recess", said the boy while showing his scratched arm.
Mom: But why cry now?
Son: I didn't get time that time.


Ladka apni maa se: Maa aap to kahti thi ki pados wali aanti bahut buri aur dayan hai.
Maa: Haan to fir? Kya hua?
Ladka: To fir papa usse choom kyo rahe thhe??


Ladka school se ghar pahuncha are chillane laga.
Maa: Kya hua beta?
Ladka: Main half time mein ground mein gir gaya tha. ye dekho (Choti Khronch dikhate hue)
Maa: To ab kyo ro rahe ho?
Ladka: Tab time nahi mila na.


Kid: Aunty, aapke pet me kya hai?
Pregnant Aunty: Ek pyara sa, nanha sa baccha.
Kid: Aunty, agar vo itna hi pyara sa hai to aap ne usko kha kiyun liya?


Coming home from a match, Sunny was welcomed by his father.
"How was the match son?" he asked.
"Will you believe it!" Sunny said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How did you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."

Hindi Sher-O-Shayari

Nadiyo se sahil rooth sakte hain
aasman se tare toot sakte hain
is baat ki umeed mat karna
ki hamari yaado se aap chhoot sakte hain



Dosti Ka Haq Hum Ada Yun Karte Hain
Tere Naam Pe Jaan Bhi Fida Karte Hain
Tujhko Phool Bhi Zakhm Na Dene Paaye


Kehte hai dil ki baat har kisi ko kahi nahi jati.
Apno ko bhi batayi nahi jati.
Par DOST to ayina hote hai
Aur ayine se koi baat chuppai nahi jati…


Zindgi mein kuch na pa sake to kya gam hai
tere jaisa dost paya yeh kya kam hai
ek choti si jagah pai hai jo apke dil mein
vo kya kisi “Taj Mahal” se kam hai…

Zindagi mein baar baar ye mukaam aaye
Tum hamare – hum tumhare kaam aaye
Bas itni he dua khuda se ki agle janm me
tumhare dosto me hamaara naam aaye…


Dua Hai Ki Kamyabi Ke Har Sikhar Pe Aap Ka Naam Hoga,
Aapke Har Kadam Par Duniya Ka Salam Hoga,
Himmat Se Mushkilon Ka Samana Karna Hamari Dua Hai,
Ki Waqt Bhi Ek Din Aapka Gulam Hoga.


Arz kiya hai:
Arz kiya hai:
Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi,
ki bahaar aane se pehle fize aa gayi,
Aur phool khilne se pehle...
..bakri kha gayi

Indian Desi Jokes

Sardar: Hamne Mobile Marrige Bureau shuru kiya hai:
"Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye."

Desi Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
Sardar: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye.


Kiss is not like Nokia…Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike… Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi… Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag… Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga.


Ek aadmi ka beta bizli ke bulb par apne papa ka naam likh raha tha.
Aadmi: Beta, ye kya kar rahe ho?
Beta: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.


You r genius, your mind is a master piece.
It is divided into left and right.
In the left side nothing is right
And in right side nothing is left.


Ek Baar Pappu Bahut Jorr-Jorr Se Ro Raha Tha.
Maa: “Alle Mera Beta Kyu Ro Raha Hai?”
Pa:“Dad Ne Mujhe Kissi Nahi Di”
Maa:“Tumne Unko Table Nahi Sunaya Hoga”
Pa:“Baazu Wali Aunty Ko Kounse Tables Aate Hain?“

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Harbhajan Apni Girl Friend Se Puchata Hai.
Harbhajan: “Kya Mein Tumhara Pehla Pyaar Hoon?”
Girl Friend: “Kar Di Na Sardaro Wali Baat,
Spinnero Ko Bhi Kabhi Opening Milti Hai Kya?“

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Santa: Mainu disco dance wich 1st prize miliya…
Banta: Yaar tenu te dance nahi c aanda..??
Santa: Yaar mainu Stage te Mirgi da daura pai gaya c :) :) :)

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MODERN BEIZZATI…
Boy: I luv u
Girl: Apni shakal dekhi hai kya?
Boy: Dekhi hai tabhi to tere paas aaya warna Katrina Kaif ke paas na jata!!!

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Sardar: oey mera shampo k sath wala gift de,
Shopkeper: sardar g uske sath koi gift nai tha,
Sardar: O bakwas na kar Oye shampo pe
likheya tha “Dandruf Free”